Inquiring Mind Archive Cont'd
Wednesday's This Inquiring Mind Wants
to Know! Copyright, 2009
By Margo Judge, MomOpinion Matters All rights reserved.
All material on this website protected.
Permission granted for reprinting with
Attribution to Margo@MomOpinion
Matters (TM)
contact/Comments  MomOpinionMatters.Com
Moving forward, one issue at a time,
with Heart, Humor & Optimism!
Monday's 365 Days of Heart, Humor & Optimism
Wednesday's This Inquiring Mind Wants to Know!
*Friday's
View From The Paw!
&
Complete Book-On-Line: H20 to Go! (see box below)
email: margo@MomOpinionMatters.Com With Heart,
Humor & Optimism, All Things Are Possible
A lot of growing up takes place between "It fell" and "I dropped it."
- Unknown *********************
Welcome ALL! margo@MomOpinionMatters.Com
Monday March 7/11 Day 133/365
Humor: The Top 20 Reasons Dogs Do Not Use Computers...Courtesy of
www.TopFive.com
20. Can't stick their heads out of Windows '95.
19. Fetch
command not available on all platforms.
18. Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side.
17. Too difficult to "mark" every website they visit.
16. Can't help
attacking the screen when they hear "You've Got Mail."
15. Fire hydrant icon is very frustrating.
14. Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they're browsing www . pethouse.com instead of working.
13. Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG Frisbee.
12. Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon
Screen Saver.
11. Still trying to come up with an "emoticon" that signifies tail-wagging.
10.
Oh, but they WILL... with the introduction of the Microsoft Opposable Thumb.
9. Three words: Carpal
Paw Syndrome.
8. 'Cause dogs ain't GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other hand...
7. Barking in next cube
keeps activating YOUR voice recognition software.
6. SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test.
5.
SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP and AWK are out of the question!
4. Saliva-coated mouse gets
mighty difficult to maneuver.
3. Annoyed by lack of newsgroup, alt.pictures.master's.leg.
2.
Butt-sniffing more direct and less deceiving than online chat rooms.
and the Number 1 Reason Dogs Do
Not Use Computers...
1. TrO{gO HyAqR4tDc TgrOo TgYPmE WeIjTyH P;AzWqS,.* (see if the kids can figure this out!)
Wednesday March 2/11 This
Inquiring Mind Wants to Know... Okay enough with all the union workers' talk about collective bargaining.
Kids must be hearing this phrase too. What if it were to seep into their foggy, multi-tasking, texting addicted
psyches. What if they were to focus upon one outrageous idea-an idea so terrifying, forget Wisconsin! The
entire adult population would be at risk!
This Inquiring Mind Wants to Know what would
happen if kids unionized and had collective bargaining? Imagine the possibilities. Not enough recess? Organize a
schoolyard sit in; too much homework? Demand added vacation time. Bad grades? March against the teacher-oh wait, can’t
do that one-teachers have a union too! But wait, there are more students than teachers and teachers can’t
teach without students, so just boycott classes, or better still go into hiding (so the police cannot find them)
until teachers agree to higher marks! Phew! Won that one.
Of course collective bargaining might
not go so easy on the home front. There is no stronger federation than the UFM!! United Federation of Moms!
We have ultimate collecting bargaining power! We can go into hiding too! At some spa! And refuse to drive, do laundry
or cook! No car pooling! No school clothes! No food!
But let's hope our kids are too busy instant
messaging to get with the collective bargaining program. Do we Moms really want to go into hiding and risk
losing the most important job we were given-that of parenting-just to make a point? Hmm. Margo@MomOpinionMatters.Com
Monday February 28 Day 132/365 Humor:Don't
Mess With Senior Citizens!
An elderly lady decided to give herself
a big treat for her significant birthday by staying overnight in one of London's most expensive hotels.
When
she checked out next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for £250.00.
She explode and demanded
to know why the charge was so high. "It's a nice hotel but the rooms certainly aren't worth
£250.00 for just an overnight stop without even breakfast."
The
clerk told her that £250..00 is the 'standard rate' so she insisted on speaking to the Manager.
The
Manager appeared and forewarned by the desk clerk announced: "the hotel has
an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre which are available for use. "
'But
I didn't use them," she said.
' 'Well, they are here, and you could have," explained
the Manager.
He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which
the hotel is famous. " We have the best entertainers from Edinburgh,Glasgow, and Aberdeen performing
here," the Manager said.
"But I didn't go to any of those shows," she said.
"Well,
we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied.
No matter what amenity
the Manager mentioned, she replied, "But I didn't use it!"
The
Manager was unmoved, so she decided to pay, wrote a cheque and gave it to the Manager.
The Manager
was surprised when he looked at the cheque. "But madam, this cheque is only made out for
£50.00." ''that's correct. I charged you £200.00 for sleeping with me," she
replied.
"But I didn't!" exclaims the very surprised Manager.
"Well,
too bad, I was here, and you could have."
Don't mess with Senior Citizens
! (received via email from a friend) Wednesday February 2/11 This
Inquiring Mind Wants to Know Why, Ms. Napolitano..
Dear Ms. Napolitano.
I understand the need for scrutiny, for diligence, for our heightened sense of alertness.
I had long bid an accepting farewell to carrying on board a separate make up bag, to wearing silver jewelry, or
choosing lace up boots. I am content to have fond childhood memories of going into the cockpit to visit the pilot and look
at a wonderful poster size photo of my then 4 year old sitting in the co-pilot’s seat of a Pan Am shuttle
(that no longer exists) mesmerized as the pilot explained what all the buttons and gadgets did. And,
I accept that because I have a rod in my leg from a fall, bells and buzzers will go off and I will be signaled aside
to be padded down by sometimes pokerfaced, sometimes sympathetic, but always gloved female airport security officers.
However, I cannot go gently into the night on one point. I flew with my husband and son from DC to Boston
this past weekend on Southwest Airlines. We decided to take our luggage aboard. When I went through security, this
was one of the times that the rod in my leg sent off no alarms, my carry-on was not opened nor was my makeup bag
in my tote rummaged through. I actually got to put on my shoes at the same time as my husband and my son. No one
had to wait on Mom.
We flew on President’s Day again on Southwest from Hartford back to DC. I wore
exactly what I wore traveling to Boston. I packed exactly the same way I packed for Boston. My tote contained exactly
the same things it contained when I organized it in DC with the exception of the book-Elegant Enigmas-The Art of
Edward Gorey Edward Gorey (I am a big fan of his!) from his exhibit at the Boston Athenaeum.
Boston Athenaeum
So, Ms Napolitano, This Inquiring Mind Wants to
Know why on the way back, every buzzer went off when I went through the metal detector, why a checker
kept moving my carry-on bag in and out of the x-ray machine, finally allowing it to come out, only to frown at the
computer picture, write down some incriminating notes, pass the note to anther security official who overly politely
asked me to open up my bag. He then took my entire make-up bag out of my tote--and we ladies know how territorial
we are about our make-up—asking me NOT to touch while he searched it. I was completely padded down,
I had to totally repack my bag, and reorganize my tote, not to mention that both my husband and my son sat waiting
and laughing at my scowls!
Going to Boston was so easy, should I have worried that the security was too
lax? Coming back was such a hassle, should I have been relieved that the security was so tight? In many areas
that shall remain nameless at the moment, over the top, across the board regulation is often absurd. How many times
have we said-that makes no sense! But, why is airport security relative? Homeland Security is a federal department.
Airport Security is a national issue. Shouldn’t screening be uniform?
In other words,
Either open my
bag or do not open it! Dig through my make-up bag or do not dig through it, And finally, spare the rod or don’t
spare the rod, but BE CONSISTENT!!!!
Why is that so hard these days?
Margo@MomOpinionMatters.Com Wednesday February 16/11 This Inquiring Mind Wants to Know... Why
Not A Detecting Plant for Parents?
Hmmm.
It seems that innovators have created a plant??!! A plant that changes colors??!! A plant that turns white when it detects
explosives??!!! Now that is cool if I have to say so myself. Detecting Plant
So, This Inquiring Mind Wants to Know
why those innovators cannot custom make one for parents? Think about it.
Gone would be the need to go nose to
nose with our teens in order to smell their breath;
Gone would be the need to monitor their pizza party friends in the
basement.
Gone would be the need to rummage through backpacks, peer under mattresses, search the back of drawers, or
behind furniture for whatever would make us go ballistic if we found our kids using it!
Enter the plant that
will turn white when it detects anything and everything we do not want our kids to have! Parental angst and teen secrecy
gone! Forever!
And a plant would be so easy to 'plant'! Mom’s simply going green. She insists on putting
plants in everyone’s rooms! They are pleasant to look at, and bring a little bit of zen to an otherwise chaotic
and messy space!
Of course when the plant turns white, she’d need to come up with a reasonable excuse.
Like- that’s what it does that when it has a cold; or that’s how it reacts when it gets scared; or that’s
the way it communicates.
Using a plant as secret weapon against the teen mantra- Mom! You don’t trust me??!!!
Priceless!
Of course, I trust you! Now could you hand me that watering can?
Margo@MomOpinion
Matters contact/Comments Wednesday February 9 /11 This
Inquiring Mind Wants to Know...Where Was the Fun or the Funny? Okay, I know I have been talking about this on
Facebook---that my favorite Super Bowl commercial was Dark Vader, and that I am creating a new ad agency called Mad Women (Don Draper, move over!)
But This Inquiring Mind just won’t let the
subject rest.
Standing in line for the train to New York City, I overheard three women in their 40’s discussing
the Super Bowl commercials and agreeing that they did not find them particularly funny. They were right. We need funnier!
A lot is happening in the world. A lot is happening in our personal lives. The Super Bowl is one of those times
we can all gather around and share a virtual laugh.
This Inquiring Mind Wants to Know Why, in
this age of film and television with so many awesome special effects; and so much writer talent should it be that hard to
produce a really funny 60 second commercial. It doesn’t take a lot of money. It just takes a great concept.
Could it be that the wrong producer/writer/directors are creating these ads?
Maybe Pixar, The Glee group,
Tina Fey, and Moms (because our lives are a rolling reality comedy—and if we didn’t laugh, we’d die!!)
should take over, and make the next Super Bowl ads.
Let’s do lunch! I have an idea! Wednesday February 2/11
Wednesday's Inquiring
Mind Wants to Know... This email
is making the rounds. I received it yesterday from a close friend. It is better than any Inquiring Mind I could have thought
of.
Yet another absurdity of our bureaucracy.
I omitted two sentences that included real names. And I bleeped the
swear words. I do not like to post swear words on this site.
Other than that, this, I am told, for real. If it is not,
it is still too real not to make us shake our collective heads!
An actual letter to the passport office...
Dear
Sirs,
I'm in the
process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone
number and knows that I bought a cable T.V. from them back in 1987, and yet, the Federal
Government is still
asking me where I was born and on what date.
For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you
have on my social security card, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is
on my health insurance card, my driver's license, on the last eight d--n passports I've had, on all those stupid customs
declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable
census forms that are done at election times.
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's
name is Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I
die!!!!!!
I apologize, I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of this b------t!
You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my address?
What is going on? Do you have a gang of Neanderthal
a---s working there!
…And would someone please tell me, why would you care whether I plan on visiting
a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd
sure as hell not want to tell anyone!
Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of
the city and get another copy of my birth certificate,
to the tune of $60. Would it be so complicated to have all
the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day??
Nooooo, that'd be too d--n
easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us running all over the place like chickens with our heads cut
off, then find some idiot to confirm that it's really me on the d--n picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed
to smile?! (bureaucratic morons)
Hey, you know why we can't smile? We're totally pissed off!
Signed
- An Irate Citizen.
P.S.... Remember
What I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm
that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 ........I have served in the military for something
over
30 years and have had security clearances up the yingyang..........However, I have to get someone 'important'
to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN INDIA !
Sincerely,
You
Sure In The H--l Should Know Who I Am.
Wednesday
January 26/11 This Inquiring Mind Wants to Know...
What was Ms. Chua's motivation in writing
Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. Was it an opportunity to compare Western parenting with Chinese parenting?
Did it give her a way to defend and excuse her behavior? Save face? Or, was it, cached in the mother/daughter
story, an attempt to come to terms with her own Western choices?
Amy Chua was born in the United States, and while brought up Chinese, applied (without permission
from her father) clear across the country to Harvard, and married an Jewish American even though her father said it would
be over his dead body. She was able to make choices and follow her own dreams. Very American. Never once do I sense
Ms Chua's desire to return to her roots in China-just a tiny tinge of regret that she did not marry a Chinese man.
So, This Inquiring Mind
Wants to Know: Why, if raising a child the preferred Chinese way in Western culture is such a closet
battle, did she ultimately choose to put herself and her children in such a conflicted environment? Why not live
in an Asian culture, visit and guest lecture in America?
Why did Amy Chua decide to study in America, marry
an American, become a law professor at a prestigious American East Coast Ivy League University, live in an American upper
middle class community and write books with titles like-
World On fire-How Exporting Free Market Democracy Breeds
Ethnic Hatred and Global Instability. Or,
Day of Empire. How Hyperpowers Rise to Global Dominance-and
Why They Fall?
And finally, why, if this country seems to have offered Ms. Chua such freedom of choice
as well as opportunities from which she has so benefited, does it then turn around and pose such a social threat to her
daughters?
I think, perhaps,
Ms. Chua wants to have her American cake and eat it Chinese style. And that puts her in deep conflict. She was born American,
and she chose to live a very independent American lifestyle up until she had children. Raising a child Chinese in Western
culture is not her problem. Rationalizing her Americanism while raising a Chinese child, is. I believe she has tried to
cover up an ambitious, and elitist part of herself by dressing it in Chinese robes.
But Children always know when we are dishonest. They are, by far, the world's
greatest emotional detectives. They can spot falsehoods, hypocrisy, and double standards in a heartbeat. Lulu knew and she
finally called her mother on it.
At
the same time, I do applaud Ms Chua and her husband for their daughters. Both Sophia and Lulu seem to be exceptional and
extraordinary young women. I think they will be just fine. I will be curious to see how they live their lives and
raise their own families.
In
the end, I will say this: A mother’s bond with her children, if wound tightly enough around her heart, can and will
transcend anything. Ms. Chua made a choice to keep that tightly wound bond and in return she gave and has received
what matters most. Love. Let any other conflict rest, and enjoy! Excerpted From Full Book Review Comments to MomOpinionMatters.Com Monday January 24 Day126/365 ...as a parent, one of the worst things you can do for your
child's self-esteem is let them give up. On the flip side, there's nothing better for building confidence than learning
you can do something you thought you couldn't." (A Positive
Quote From Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom Wednesday November 24/10 This Inquiring Mind Wants to Know... Decisions, Decisions...
Moving right along with this airport security hoopla, I heard this morning what the recommended travel
attire now is.
No loose clothing.
No underwire bras.
Let’s follow this logic. Forget the virtual
nude screening-better all the other people in the security line should clearly see our rolls and flab under that
tight fitting t-shirt! And so what if we have to chase down the Salvation Army truck with the bag filled with those
tight jeans we held on to forever thinking yes I can, yes I can! yes, I can, when after 10 years it is all too clear
that I never will, I never will, I never will!!!!
And ladies you know that nice bras are expensive! Are we
going to have to shove all our underwire bras to the back of the drawer and go out and buy a no wire bra just for
airport security? Such a waste of money! Therefore, how about no bra at all! After all, some of us did that
in the 60’s! We can handle going retrograde for one moment in time.
So This Inquiring Mind wants
to know what we’re complaining about? ??!! We have choices here!
We can submit to virtual nude screening (and ladies—no
rolls or flab in those computer images!!)
Or we can let it all hang out in our tight pants, T-shirt, and no
bra!
Tough decision!
Too late for the Don’t Touch My Junk Diet!
Whatever you decide,
have a great Thanksgiving!
This Inquiring Mind is going to put her inquiring mind to rest and enjoy!
I am not traveling!
Wednesday November
17/10 This Inquiring Mind Wants to Know... Airport Security-Privacy or Vanity?
Oh my goodness, do we
have a dust up, as the English might say, over this new screening process that will allow airport security to see
our private parts! Don’t Touch My Junk will soon migrate to t-shirts, mugs, and home alarm systems!!!
But…but…but. Aren’t we a contradictory lot?
I mean if we are honest we live in a
very ‘exposed’ era.
Just listen to an ordinary rap song on the radio and discover that pornography
is in full lyrical bloom! Just look at how many dresses pass for a revealing one-piece bathing suit, while
a bathing suit constitutes whatever can be strung together-literally! And obviously, some of us don’t care
what we share in pictures!
Back to airport screening. I know the truth here. It is NOT about--oh shock of
shocks, they are going to see our privates! It IS about our body image. Most people are super-critical of their
own bodies. If we have a problem confronting the tell-all mirror, in the privacy of our own bathroom with
dimmed lights, why would we allow a total stranger to look at us on a screen with high tech light!
So,
This Inquiring Mind Wants to Know--if we were self-confident, and thought we had a beautiful body, would
we care if anyone at airport security saw it? Come on now, let’s be honest. Would we be shouting government
intrusion, and gross invasion of our right to privacy? Might we be just a tad more willing to bare our all
for the sake of the country and its safety? Just asking…just asking.
Meanwhile, this new ‘put
it out there’ security measure might have a silver lining-I mean think about it for a minute. You’re
going on a trip. And you want to look good, right? Not for your spouse, significant other, or strangers on the beach,
but for that unknown screener sitting in a secluded booth somewhere who will never know your name, where you live
or your facebook page--who is looking at bodies all day—like a doctor, (or better yet, a gynecologist), carefully
scrutinizing every part of your body for weapons of mass destruction! Now isn’t that enough to make you put
down that ice cream and drop 20 pounds! The New Don’t Touch My Junk, Diet!
Just threw out my Chocolate
Chunk! Email: margo@MomOpinionMatters.Com Wednesday November 10/10
This Inquiring Mind Wants to Know..With
These Side Effects, Who Needs the Medicine??!! I watch commercials. I am always looking for the innovative, creative,
funny or moving 30 or 60 second spot. Yes I am a Mad Man wanna be. This past week has been devoted to cleaning
out my home office, and so the TV has been on quite a lot.
Daytime TV is filled with all sorts of medicines promising
to heal everything from sinusitis to impotence. What is most extraordinary about these commercials are the product warnings
stated at the end.
Have you listened to these warnings?
First of all, forget any healing whatsoever if
you have liver issues! The first thing the voice over will say is: do not take if you have any signs of liver problems. O.K.
So much for that. If you get sick and you have a bad liver, you’re dead in the water!
Then there are the dire
warnings of possible stroke, heart attack, or sudden death. Celebrex can cause stomach ulcers that could cause sudden
death! Great! So I can jog up in heaven! Moving right along are the milder symptoms of headaches, stomachaches,
rashes, dizziness, blurred vision or hearing loss.
But this inquiring mind wants to know why we would want to
take a medication whose warning includes the very thing for which we are taking the medicine!
For example Balloon Sinuplasty
(to relieve sinus problems) has associated risks including tissue and mucosal trauma. Mucosal trauma??!!! I’ll keep
my sinusitis, thank you!
Today a commercial comes on for ULORIC which is supposed to relieve gout by reducing
the uric acid that causes gout. A man walks around carrying a glass jar with green liquid in it--supposedly his uric acid.
At the end of the commercial come the required warnings. Again, forget about it if you have liver problems. Just carry
a jar that doesn’t weigh too much!
The most common side effects of ULORIC are nausea, joint pain, rash
and—wait for it…wait for it…liver problems??!!, So, if I have this straight 1) You can't take this medication
if you alrerady have liver problems, 2) It might cause liver problems in which case you can longer take any medicine 3)
You're back to being dead in the water holding your (hopefully light weight) jar of uric acid! Then the kicker!
ULORIC can cause--are you ready? Gout flares! Don’t stop taking Uloric if you have gout flare ups!??!!!! Right!
Next
week this Inquiring Mind will delve into car commercials! No liver dysfunction or warnings there, just-----well I’ll
tell you next week!
Comments to MomOpinionMatters.Com
Wednesday November
3This Inquiring Mind Wants to Know...Keepers of The Scale
America is a very special place. The American people do truly govern it.
We are the keepers of the
Scale and we hold in our hands America’s democracy and balance of power. If the Scale tips too much to one side, we
instinctively want to take some weight off, and add it to the other. Americans have always had a great inner barometer for
balance.
The Scale has managed to stand secure in all threatening weathers. Regardless of any change in
climate, we have always cherished, honored and been fiercely protective of it. So this inquiring mind wants to know
why we don’t marvel more at our amazing capacity for democratic preservation.
We know what healthy
democracy should look like. Every time those in elected office try to add economic or social weights that tip the Scale too
far, it is we, the American people, acting as a powerful collective who then singularly enter a voting booth to tip the Scale
back and restore balance. We get to do it every two, four and six years. That is the beauty of our system of government.
So,
we need not worry, that our democracy is in peril. It will survive unless of course someone tries to steal our Scale.
And none of us, no matter what our leaning, would ever want or allow that to happen! Margo@MomOpinionMatters.Com Comments to Margo@MomOpinionMatters.Com
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Wednesday October 27 This Inquiring Mind Wants to Know... I attended the funeral
for a friend’s sister who died of breast cancer. She was, by all accounts a warm, spirited, funny, devoted
40-year old mother of two teenage boys.
Sitting there surrounded by sorrow
and sadness, relief flooded through my heart that I was well; my family was well; that my son, at that age, did not
have to stand in a pew watching his parent’s casket being carried down the aisle. I walked out of the
church so grateful for all I had in this world.
Afterwards, I pondered my inner gratitude. Had
I not attended this funeral, would I have suddenly taken such detailed stock of my own life? Would I have actually
gone down the column of blessings and one by one, checked-off most of them? I think not.
So, this inquiring
mind wants to know why most of us tend to count our joys and blessings when we see them up against someone else’s
pain and loss.
There by the grace of God go I, we remind ourselves. Our selfishness, our complaints and
our dissatisfactions seem to fade for a short while when confronted with the greater sufferings of others. However, once
a safe distance away in time, we go back to our routines, our patterns and our self-absorptions. until another tragedy
of much larger proportions stops us short once again.
I have come to the conclusion that one of
our great challenges is to feel gratitude all the time. And while I am so very grateful at the moment, stringing
such moments together to make gratitude constant remains this life’s work. Comments to margo@MomOpinionMatters.Com Wednesday
October 13 2010 This Inquiring Mind Wants to Know... Seeing The 'Green' Light
of Day? I
am totally in the dark about this!
Supposedly, we will soon be required to buy only energy efficient 'green'
light bulbs. I own several already. The old incandescent kind will be taken off the market.
Supposedly
also, these energy efficient bulbs contain Mercury? If one breaks we have to leave the room for fifteen
minutes. Can you imagine suddenly yanking forks, spoons or fingers full of food out of children’s mouths, pulling
toddlers dripping wet out of a baths, or tugging the remote away from the sleepover party, yelling-- THIS IS
NOT A DRILL!!!!! EVERYONE OUT!!!
So, this inquiring mind wants to know:
Why would a ‘green’
light bulb contain Mercury? And why would we want to buy it?
Because it lasts longer, even though we
won’t?
It's better for the environment even though that same environment will kill us all if we stay in it!
It will give us a longer lasting light with which to read the warnings on the label!
Because we simply will
have no other choice?
Hmm. How many people does it take to change a light bulb?
One. The government???!!!!!!
I’ll buy a torchlight! I can mount it on the wall and see the 'green' light of day without having
to leave the room! Wednesday October
6 2010 This Inquiring Mind Wants to Know... 'Green' vs Quiet
What
do a coffee grinder, lawn mower, and jack hammer--I’m on a roll so let’s include hair dryer, electric
drill and vacuum cleaner all have in common?
They are incredibly, annoyingly loud. And although they
might look 21st century, they sound more like the dawning of the industrial revolution!
It occurred to me the
other day while trying to talk over the sound of beans pulverizing, that there is a major innovation yet to go public!!!!
Why, this inquiring mind wants to know, in this day of ultra speed and micro size, crystal clear imagery and galactic
exploration, has no one in this whole wide world thought to create quiet home appliances and muffled
work machines! Imagine being able to whisper gossip over a blow dryer; walk past jack hammers head held high, ears
open; speak on the phone with the vacuum cleaner going and last but not least-share a personal conversation
in a coffee house while the beans grind to a halt!
And further more--speaking
of noise--a lot of us Moms absolutely hate noisy toys. I have been given explicit instructions by several moms of
toddlers NOT to buy anything that rings, jingles, honks, or squeaks! Moms claim they cannot handle the sound. Hmmm.
So, with all due respect to Green Technology, Quiet Technology would play a far greater
role in promoting better health, and lower stress levels so children would not have to suffer a lack of age-appropriate
sensory play and Moms could actually allow their children those really cool noisy toys! After all, I defy anyone
to find any toy in the 21st century that rivals a java machine!
Quiet vs. ‘Green'? I’ll take Quiet;
They can keep 'Green' in the salad! Comments to margo@MomOpinionMatters.Com Wednesday September 29 2010 This Inquiring Mind Wants to Know... The Parking Ticket and the Yoga
'Citation' Pose
In Cambridge Massachusetts, if you were one of 40,000 people who recently got a parking ticket,
you also got something else added onto it--A picture of a Yoga 'Citation' Pose (see pix in link- Traffic Calming ) printed on the payment envelope. The reason?
If people could calm down they might be less likely to fling expletives at the meter person. Forget eliminating the expletives,
can you imagine people in all manner of dress doing this pose?
So, this inquiring mind wants to know what would happen
if we followed this thread of Zen logic past the parking ticket—let say, to the speeding ticket? Does that 'reworked'
Salutation' pose change to a mandatory Yoga workshop of deep breathing and Ommmmms. And what would happen with real road
rage? A night in the slammer with a yoga mat and a copy of Yoga behind Bars! Stop Shouting, Start Chanting or for
a conviction for drunk driving- Lose the Guzzle, Gain the Stretch, or for our beloved Senior Citizen Drivers? End
the Swerve, Learn Focusing on the Curve?
I hope this Yoga-like idea does NOT expand or go national unless it can
improve actual driving skills. But if I am correct, most real Yoga encourages palms together, flat on the floor or
stretched up, and eyes towards the sky, the ground, or closed! There is no gripping in Yoga!
Case closed! This Inquiring Mind Wants to Know Archive Comments to margo@MomOpinionMatters.Com Wednesday September
22 This Inquiring Mind Wants to Know... Going Back to Hogwarts!
I am sitting on the bus to New York
reading Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. This is my fall project-to read all seven Harry Potter books!
I am so excited not to be buried in heavy non-fiction! So, there I am, in the first row with a panoramic view of the New
Jersey Turnpike. I look up to see where we are and a big sign above the highway comes towards me. It reads:
Due
to Enforcement Zone, Zero Tolerance for Impaired Drivers!
Now this Inquiring mind wants to know what this ridiculous
pronouncement means!
What constitutes an impaired driver?
Sleepy? Drunk? Suffering severe heartburn from the
food at the rest stop?
Or. enduring a bursting bladder because the bathroom was closed? (Which actually happened, and
when a fellow bus passenger looked rather distraught at the idea that she would have to use the Men’s Room, I moved
the sign and said-We’re going in!!)
Or having a serious itch on the bottom of your gas pedal foot?
And
does Enforcement Zone mean-just hold on for 5 or 10 miles and then you can be impaired again with much more tolerance from
law enforcement? Dose or swerve or try to scratch that toe with your other foot with their empathy and forgiveness!
I
might not have read The Standard Book of Spells or One Thousand Magical Herbs and Funghi, but I
am confident that the text would make more sense than:
Due to Enforcement Zone, Zero Tolerance for Impaired Drivers.
I am going back to Hogwarts! This Inquiring Mind Wants to Know Archive Comments to margo@MomOpinionMatters.Com Wednesday September
15 2010 This Inquiring Mind Wants to Know... They Hear Live
People! This inquiring mind wants to know why, when
I call the phone company, would I hear a recording that states-
'To ensure quality service, this call may be monitored
or recorded'-then get transferred to 5 virtual operators? Are they preparing me for the ever elusive live
representative who will not come on until I have exhausted every number and letter on my keypad? Or, have we become so techie,
that we are actually starting to evaluate the performance and response time of certain recorded voices and signals,
Anyway, it would be nice if Big Brother were watching virtual operators as closely as they do us! Especially, when
the virtual Information operators cannot spell to save their lives!
So many people out of work. So many people in need
of human response.
Seems like a perfect fit to me, but hey, what do I know. This is the era of recordings that say
they are listening. They hear live people. Spooky!This Inquiring Mind Wants to Know Archive Comments to margo@MomOpinionMatters.Com Wednesday September 1 2010 This Inquiring Mind Wants to Know...
Please Sir, I want a Bag!
The remote for
the family room TV died. I went to Best Buy to see if it could be repaired. I was told I could take a chance on a new
batteries or buy a new remote.
Ok. How about new batteries.?
Sorry, we do not carry them. You have to mail the
remote back to the manufacturer. But you need to know, it might be the batteries. It might be the remote.
My
son had invited several friends over to watch a sports event. Even if I sent the remote back to the manufacturer, I would
not get it back in time for the weekend. I go for new remote for a gazillion dollars!
I am in the special area of Best
Buy--the section that services media rooms, and very large screens. This is where I came to buy my big screen and Blue Ray
system. This is where I wait for my new gazillion dollar remote.
So, the first thing this inquiring mind wants to know
is why this special area that sets up media rooms, that sells very expensive equipment cannot stock batteries for the remotes?
But before I come to any conclusion about this, the sales person returns with the box with a brand new remote inside.
We go to the counter. I pay the gazillion dollars and he hands me the box with a receipt. And here comes Oliver-Please
sir, I want some more! I ask him for a bag.
Oh, I am sorry, we do not supply bags.
No?
No. You have to
go to the main check out area to get a bag.
I look at the main check out area. There is a line.
Do you mean
I need to get in another line to get a bag for something I paid and received a receipt for in this area?
Yes. And it
will cost you 5 cents.
Are you serious??!!! I have just spent a gazillion dollars on a new remote, and a system that
I bought here for an added gazillion dollars and you cannot supply me with a plastic bag???!!!!
I am sorry, but we have
no bags here.
I ask to see the manager if only to...?
I wait and wait and wait.
Finally, the manager comes
over and asks what the problem is.
I tell him what has just occurred and he smiles-
I totally agree with you.
I have been in DC only 3 weeks, and I think it is ridiculous! But, it is the law. We cannot do anything about it. We
must charge 5 cents for the bag, and the company policy is that bags are only to be given out from the main line. And, if
it makes you feel better we do not get the money. The money goes to the city.
I know! I say. The money supposedly goes
to cleaning up the Anacostia River but I do not believe for a nano second that any of it has rolled its way to the shore
line!!! Has anyone asked for an accounting? I think it’s jingling in someone’s very dry pocket!!!!!
He agrees.
As I leave holding my 5 cent bag that I waited in line to purchase, so I would not have to walk with a see all box in
my hand, to meet someone 2 blocks away,
this inquiring mind wants to know:
What if on my way back to my car in
the garage, someone mugs me. They saw my 5 cent bag. They just had to have it! Wednesday August 25 2010 This Inquiring Mind Wants to Know?
The Trainee with His Foot in His Mouth! I left my blackberry at a Starbucks. They put it in their locked lost and found drawer, When I returned from a trip,
I went to retrieve it, only to find that it had been stolen from the box. Starbucks filed an incident report while I went
to Verizon to get the serial number so it could be put on the police report.
I walk into Verizon. It is almost
empty. Great! I walk up to the counter. I tell the young man that my blackberry was stolen and I need to file a report. He
asks me a series of questions and proceeds to do whatever he needs to do on his computer. It takes a very long time.
Finally the representative sitting next to him turns to help him, then looks at me and says--He is a trainee, bear with him.
I smile and reply, it’s ok. I’m not in a rush. While he’s waiting for whatever he’s waiting
for on his screen, I tell him that I am really upset because my blackberry was part of the special-buy one and get one free.
My son got one and mine was free! Then I add laughing-I’m sure I can’t get another free one, right? Now… why on earth…if you are a trainee at Verizon…would you look up, smile and then reply-
Well, now see if you had an AT&T phone, they have sim cards and all you would need to do is replace the card in
a new free phone!
I am stunned! How could he be so totally clueless about where he is, what he just said, and
completely oblivious that his co-representative overheard and has just shot him a dead-in-the-water look! As I
walk out the door, this inquiring mind wants to know:
Did this trainee end up at Verizon because one day when he was
at AT&T he said-well now see if you had Sprint you would be able to…
Poor guy! He’s going to
run out of phone companies very soon!
Comments to margo@MomOpinionMatters.Com Wednesday
August 18 2010 (First Entry) This Inquiring Mind Wants to Know: Where
is the Fuel Efficient Car Chase??!!
Fixing Breakfast,
watching the news, following yet another televised car chase by police and hearing the commentator ask why people do this
considering they will eventually run out of gas, this inquiring mind wants to know:
Why is it that the vehicle in pursuit
is always some used truck, or dark van? Wouldn’t it make more sense to steal a car that had a great mile per gallon
ratio??!! Like one that would get you clear out of state on one tank??? Come on! This is the 21st century! We
are all about the big Green and great Mileage! Imagine the possibilities for TV. Lots of airtime and cameras following a stolen
car passing city line, after city line, after city line!
So, how about this for a car commercial?
From a helicopter:
First shot looking down on car speeding on the freeway-police in pursuit
Second shot:
Car veering off ramp
and moving into neighborhood streets-police still in pursuit
Third shot:
Car turning corner and beginning to
slow down
Newscaster Voice Over-
It looks like he’s beginning to run out of gas.
Fourth Shot:
Car moving more and more slowly, and finally grinding to a halt.
Fifth Shot:
The police cars stop- .
Sixth Shot:
Man exists vehicle with hands up.
Freeze frame
Voice Over and Tag line:
Don’t run
on empty! Next time, do it in a Prius!!!! copyright margo Judge,MomOpinionMatters.Com Comments to margo@MomOpinionMatters.Com
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