From:  Mama Judge
To:       All girls graduating from High School-
Re:      Some Tough Love!

Dear High School Seniors, Soon to Be Incoming College Freshmen,

There is never ever an excuse for physical aggression in a relationship.
Aggression is not passion.  It is power.
Aggression is not love, it is control.

Get over the notion that aggression shows he cares.
He does not care. He needs and you feel good feeling needed
but it is a very negative and dangerous neediness!

Get over the notion that aggression is a changeable behavior!
You have absolutely no control over his outbursts. 
You could sit on your hands and do nothing and he would find an excuse!
Aggression is like an appetite.  It becomes ferocious when not fed!
So get over the notion that it will not happen again!
He will need, he will get hungry and he will search for any reason to attack.

The next time it will be a bigger shove, a harder slap because you talked back-
you’re the only one who can make him get that crazy!
And you will be flattered at the depth of his feeling
and be understanding and try to keep him calm.

The next time it will be a fist punch because you did something that just made him go nuts but he is so sorry, he was drunk and not in control,
but he loves you and promises never to do that again!
And you will forgive him because you love how he makes you feel when he is nice  and he only did it that one time, when he was drinking, and that is not the real him!

And the next time it will be a few punches out of jealousy because you smiled at someone
and he cannot stand you paying attention to anyone else!
And you will try so very hard not to make him jealous-

until the next time when he beats you to within an inch of your life for what he thought you did,
and you are beginning to wonder and you might want to end it,

but then there is the last time when he won't take good-bye as an option
and in a rage kills you, he loves you so much!

And if you believe that somehow this won't happen to you, 
the people you leave behind when you die wish you had believed it.

So stop!  Grow Up! Take Responsibility! Create a Bottom Line!
At the first shove, or the first grab, you walk out the door!
No second chance! No explanation! No exception!
Got it?
Get it before you go off to college!
I want to see you all thrive, graduate, and live a full life!
Love,
Mama Judge--for added support:email me at: Mama Judge