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View From the Paw (cont'd 3)

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VIEW FROM THE PAW (3)

 

VIEW FROM THE PAW!
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Oh no! Not another 'On Sale' sign! She's going in!
Time to negotiate! One scoop, vanilla, in a cup!
(Tonka spending 'quality' time with Mom)

 
View From The Paw by Tonka
Understanding A Human, One Paw at a Time!

September 23/11

Paw Gossip About Owner Families!

When I go away to Paw Camp, I see my cousins and I play and spend a lot of time outdoors. But one of the best things I get to do is sit around and listen to gossip about other owner families!  And Oh my goodness, do I hear an earful!

I forget that not all owner families are like mine, and that no all Owner Moms are like my owner boy’s. 
This is what happened in our last paw share:
               
I wish I could stay here longer, says Elsie
Why? Asks Baxter
Because when I go home, I get walked by three different owner nannies and I don’t like any of them! Barks Elsie
Three??!! I ask
Three. One in he morning, One in the afternoon and one in the evening! Replies Elsie
Wait, your owner family has three nannies??!! Interrupts Baxter
Three.
Why does your Owner Mom have three nannies? Bonnie asks.
Because my owner Mom doesn’t want to do anything in the house, or take care of the kids. Says Elsie
That is so sad! Says Bonnie, tilting her head and putting her paw over her eyes.
I know. Says Elsie. I feel sorry for my owner kids. I feel sorry for myself.  These nannies don’t talk much, or know how to play any games. And they don’t like to walk anywhere except around the block.  I am so-0-0- bored going around the block and not even getting a chance to sniff anything!
Wow. I am lucky, I guess. My Owner Mom lets me sniff everything. She says it keeps my senses sharp. I say.
Why do your senses have to be sharp? Asks Baxter.
I don’t know. I reply.  But it’s a lot of fun to sniff around.
Well, my owner mom always wants her babysitter to put my owner boys to bed before she comes home so she won’t have to deal with them!  I watch them fight not to go to bed so they can talk to their mom and dad.  One time she came home and said she was going to go insane because they were up. Says Cody.
What does insane mean? Asks Bonnie
It means crazy, I think. I say.
How can you go crazy putting kids to bed? Asks Bonnie
Maybe they were already crazy! Barks Baxter
We all wag and thump our tails!
My next door paw neighbor told me that his owner Mom’s has her babysitter come early in the morning—two days a week--only for 30 minutes—to walk her kids across the street to school! The owner Mom does not come back until around 8pm and the owner Dad only sees them for around 30 minutes at night. Says Baxter
My owner Mom doesn’t have much time for me either. And she goes away a lot.
That’s why I am here a lot. Says Cody, lowering his tail
Why do humans have kids if they are not going to spend time with them? Isn’t that what being human is all about? I mean-if they were like us—their kids would be taken away to live with a human family.  We have no say about where our puppies go!  Howls Elsie
Did you have puppies? Asks Cody
Yes, and after listening to all of you, I worry about what kind of family they ended up with.
I have a brother that lives with one of my Owner Moms friends. I say. My other brother died.  I guess I am really lucky. My Owner family spends a lot of time with me and they both used to spend a lot of time with my owner boy when he was still home. I say.
Me too! Says Bonnie. My Owner Mom and I walk my owner girl and her baby brother to school every morning, and then I go with her in the afternoon to pick her up.
My favorite time, I say, was always when my owner Mom took me to see my owner boy’s baseball games. I loved that!
I don’t know what my owner boy and girl would do without me.  They would have no company.  I feel bad for them when I am here. Says Cody putting his head down on the grass.
My owner boys are teenagers. They’re great with me, but I know they are doing stuff they’re not supposed to do because I always hear them saying they have to do it before my owner Mom comes home. Says Sam
What do they do? Asks Elsie picking up her ears.
They take this stuff out of their backpacks and put it in their mouths, and take really deep breaths, and then the room smell funny. I always want to leave when they do it. Then when they hear my Owner Mom come in, all the stuff gets put back into the backpacks, and they spray something all over the room. It smells bad too! Says Sam rubbing his nose.
Well, we are all lucky in one way. I say, getting up.
What way, is that? Asks Baxter sitting up also.
We get to come here and be together!
We all bark in agreement!

After that we always talk about maybe writing a book about all our owner families.  We wonder whether they would know who they were in the book, and if we would get in trouble and be given away. Then we decide not to worry about that. Time to chase!

All these stories I’m told are true.  I am not surprised because my Owner Mom talks about this also. She has lots of examples. But what I overhear her saying is for another time.

Anyway, please have a ‘together’ weekend! I promised I would send a special request from Baxter, and Elsie and Cody and Sam, and Bonnie –SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOUR LITTLE FEET AND US PAWS!!!! WE REALLY NEED YOU!!!
Love,
Tonka


September 16/11

Off to hang out with my fellow boarding paws! I won't be back until next Tuesday!!!! I will miss you, but have a pawful week, and weekend! Sending licks and wags to your owner moms and dads!
Extra licks and wags to your owner boys and/or girls! Love Tonka

September 9, 2011
I want a Raincoat and Boots!
Very few times do I admit that humans have it better than we do, but when it comes to rain, they do!

My owner mom finally took me for a walk in the park this morning when it wasn’t raining hard.  We saw a mother with her two small children walking in front of us.  The little boy and girl were laughing and splashing in every puddle they could find. They jumped in them. They kicked the water. They raced around trying to find the biggest ones.

Now think for a moment when we do that.  I have been in the park when fellow canines have made a beeline for the puddle down the hill.  Owner Moms start screaming! Max, NO! Darbie, NO! NO!! NO!!! They look utterly frustrated with the idea that as soon as they get home they are going to have to spend a lot of time cleaning us off.  And we have 4 paws, not 2 feet!!!  They do everything in their power NOT to walk where the puddles are.  They think they can fool us. Boy, is that a losing battle!

Anyway, I see this little girl and little boy, all covered up with raincoats, and boots having a wonderful time and their mom is laughing!  She is actually laughing!  I have never seen an Owner Mom laugh when one of us wants to sit down in the water!

So, I have to say I wish we could play like that and have our owner Moms laughing instead of screaming.

I know there are raincoats and boots for dogs. I have heard of them.  But, they are NOT meant to let us have fun.  They are only meant to protect us and keep us clean.  Could we imagine any Owner Mom dressing us saying-Okay, you are now ready to go splash in water? Never!

So, little humans have it better when it comes to rain. And since we have had so much rain, I began to imagine being a little being.  When I start dreaming of being a little being under any circumstances, I know I'm in trouble, being stuck indoors is beginning to get to me and I am losing my canine mind!

 I know some of you have actual flooding. I have seen pictures. Stay safe, but maybe you can get some of those tall boots I see humans wearing on television!  For the rest of you, have a splash in the puddles kind of weekend! I’m going to! Shhh. Don’t tell my owner Mom but I have scoped out where all the best puddles are.
Love,
Tonka

 

September 2, 2011

Trouble At The Supermarket! And It Wasn't Even Close to a Trantrum!
Okay, so we are in the park and my Owner Mom sees a friend.  Her dog and I were puppies together. Her dog comes running up to my Owner Mom. I tolerate it because we were puppy friends.  I overhear this other Owner Mom say that a burglar could come into their house and steal absolutely everything, and her dog would just wag his tail.  I knew we were different even when we were young paws!

My Owner Mom says that I would bark like mad if some stranger came into our house. I bark very forcefully at the pizza delivery person.  Or some human comes to the door asking my Owner Mom a lot of questions and wanting her to sign some paper.  The other Owner Mom says she wishes her dog were a little more protective.

Well, you know how you humans have this expression-there is no such thing as being a little pregnant? Well, there is no such thing as being a little protective or a little territorial! Either we are or we aren’t. And if we are, we are going to bark at every stranger or person we think might be invading our space, or any other canine getting too close to our food, our bones, our toys or our human pack.  That is the way we are.

So, if I were honest, I would put myself in the protective and territorial food bowl.

So, today my Owner Mom had to go to the supermarket.  She found a place to put me right near the entrance. It was a little secure corner between a plant stand and piles of bottled water. I curled up. She said she would be right back.  In she went.
Suddenly out of nowhere, a man appeared!  He moved towards me. I didn’t know who he was. He startled me and so I jumped up and barked at him.  The next thing I knew my Owner Mom came flying out of the store saying that she heard an announcement over the loud speaker about a dog!

The man, it turned out, was the manager. He said he likes dogs a lot. He has one, but he cannot allow a dog to be there if he is going to do that.
My Owner Mom nodded. She apologized.  She looked at me and said that she
had to put me in the car until she finished doing her shopping.  I know I cannot sit in front of the supermarket anymore. I am sorry about what happened today. The manager surprised me and so I barked at him. My Owner Mom knew that. She was not mad at me.  But I have a feeling she will not be leaving me alone a lot anymore.

I love children. I love puppies. I do not have any desire to hunt or kill other animals and bring them home for show and tell. But I am never going to be one of those wag my tail-at-strangers-or-other-strange dogs-kind of dog.  Sometimes I wonder if my Owner Mom would like to see me go bounding after other dogs and play and chase when we’re in the park.  But that is not me.  It never has been. I am picky about who I wag my tail at and play with I think I am like some children I see at recess outside of the school right next to the park--the ones who play or sit with just one friend or by themselves.  I could see myself sitting with them. We think alike.

I think humans are luckier when it comes to strangers. And that is because strangers don’t come up in their faces. They keep their distance. Dogs come right up to my nose or my butt!  Humans hover above my head.  Most of the time I am extremely polite. This time I barked. 

This manager should see me when there is thunder! Like last night when I woke my Owner Mom up and sat on top of her!
Don’t mess with my space, but don’t think I won’t take over yours when I hear Kabooms! Well, we paws aren’t perfect. Close, but…
Have a thunder free, barking at strangers and getting in trouble free holiday weekend! And keep those yummy barbecue scraps coming!
Love,

Tonka

 
 
 
Friday August 26/11 (Sorry this is so late!!!)
Bone of Contention-
Now this is a human phrase I can identify with! It has the word bone in it! There are other human phrases that make no sense like-
Think outside the box! What paw would want to think OUTSIDE the box? It’s what INSIDE the box that counts!
Or--
Curiosity killed the cat. Really? There seem to be too many cats left in the world for that to be true!
But, Bone of contention?

It all began after my Owner Mom attended a big party for a friend’s birthday. I was in my favorite under the table spot, during lunch-outside. My Owner Mom was telling her friend about the party. And she said:
You know-my real bone of contention is with people who don’t like dogs.
My ears perked up. Bone of contention? People who don’t like dogs? So, I listened.
My Owner Mom continued…
There were two women sitting on the couch holding their plates of food. Riley, the owner’s dog, kept coming up and sitting right in front of them. The women, both tried to shoo him away. He’d move and then come right back. It was clear that these two women were not scared of dogs. That was not the look on their faces. The look was dislike. A dog didn’t belong at the party, in the living room, anywhere near them. The look was-dogs should not be seen or heard around humans!

I figured out, listening to my Owner Mom, that these two Humans really didn’t think much of dogs! My Owner Mom said she sat watching and was amused that Riley seemed unperturbed (a word I didn’t know) and kept sitting in front of them with his tail wagging. (Ah, okay I understand).

So, bone of contention with people who just do not like dogs? It must mean my Owner Mom really has a problem with people who just do not like dogs. (Yeah, Mom!)
I decided that when we got back home I was going to look up this saying. Oh my goodness- there were more expressions with the word bone in them!
Have a Bone to pick which means to argue
Make no bones about it! Which means-be direct!
Wow! This was really cool! I thought-wait until I go back to paw group and tell them all the expressions they can use to talk about humans!

Meanwhile, make no bones about it! I, too, have a bone of contention with any human who does not like dogs and would have a bone to pick with any human who thought any fellow paw was poop! If I ever sat wagging my tail in front of such persons, my paw might accidently hit their plates and flip them over onto their laps! Did I just say that? Never! Do I think such humans are boneheads? Did I just say that? Okay, I will bone up and say YES!
Have a great pick a bone for real-weekend! Stay safe in the hurricane?
I will be working my paws to the bone trying to find a place to pee and poop!
Tonka

 
Friday August 12/11
 Scripts? Phooey!
My Owner Mom is working on something called a script. All I know is that I cannot get near the computer! So, you will have to follow me on Facebook-(View From The Paw by Tonka) I get just enough time to write in a little box! I want my own computer!
Have a more than a little box, weekend!
Tonka
 
Friday August/5/11
Wanted: Unflappable!
Well, I finally figured out what it is my owner Mom does every time we play Kong and why!

Okay. This is how it happened. My Owner Mom has been writing a whole bunch of blogs to help boys and girls get ready for Middle School. I like reading her stuff, especially when she talks about my Owner boy who I miss a lot.

Anyway, in her last blog she talked about that game I have never understood even though my Owner Boy played it-Baseball.  And she was saying that kids should not quit just because they don’t like a baseball coach.  Why does a game with a ball need a coach?  I play lots of ball and I do not have a coach!  And then she said coaches look for kids who are unflappable.  My Owner boy did not know what that meant. (I’m glad because I didn’t know what it meant either!)  And my owner Mom said it meant that people can’t bug you!

Not flapping at the coach, and not getting BUGGED was what my Owner Mom was telling my Owner Boy?

But then my ears picked up, and I cocked my head. Wait a minute. Unflappable-not flapping-so people can’t BUG you! Bugs?  Of course! Now it all began to make sense.

Every time my Owner Mom goes outside with me and we begin to play Kong, she starts to wave her arms all over the place. When she first did this I thought she was waving at someone. But no, she was just waving in the air and turning around in circles and complaining about bugs, and she’d want to stop. Now it all made sense. She was flapping and getting bugged!

All my paw friends in the park have been watching their owner families do this flapping thing and it never made sense. Wait until I tell them that when their Owners wave their hands all over the place and all of a sudden say come on, we have to go, it’s because they’ve been flapped and bugged and they want to quit playing  ball just like kids want to quit playing ball!

We do not have that problem, but it is our problem because all this flapping cuts into our playtime! And when warm weather comes my Owner Mom is more flapped and bugged than ever and I get less and less Kong time!

So, we canines can be just like coaches with kids—we want unflappable owner Moms and Dads.  I hope my Owner Mom finds a way, just like my Owner Boy did, to be unflappable and not get bugged and not quit playing Kong with me!

Have an unflappable, unbugged, no quitting play weekend!! (With or without a coach!)

Tonka


Friday December 16/11

Gonna Find Out Who's Naughty or Nice??

Well, I think I feel a little better. I was at the dog park this morning and boy was there a lot of barking going on about this naughty or nice thing. Big Bear told me he has run down the hill into the mud so many times that his Owner mom said if he did it again, she'd have to keep him on a leash. Hyper Bert keeps humping me everytime I'm there! My Owner Mom says I'll tell him off if it bothers me, which I have in no uncertain terms ( as humans say) but his Owner Dad gets really upset and ends up taking Bert home. Poor Bert! And snow white Daisy rolls around in the dirt whenever her owner mom is talking. And then there are Salt and Pepper who chase each other into the toddler playground, tumbling into the sandbox and chasing each other past the swings. At that point everyone yells!

So, when we were all laying around they asked me if I had been naughty. Well, I said, I do this thing when my owner mom goes out at night to meet my owner dad. When she tells me to come inside, I curl up in a corner against the fence. Then when she comes to me I roll over on my back and refuse to move. I put my paw over her arm. I weigh a lot so it's not as if she can pick me up. So she always had to show me the squeeze collar and say- no, come! And I do, but I always make her late!

Here's the thing. I hope Santa forgives all my paw pals for any naughty behavior because there is absolutely nothing that comes close to paw 'nice' Our 'nice' is the best!

I think SantA will understand the naughty- after all as my Owner Mom always says- how would you know what good was if there wasn't a bad?!! And besides, unlike a lot of humans we actually feel guilty when we've been naughty. We know we've done something wrong and we hate it when our owner Moms and Dads are mad at us.

So have the nicest weekend! And as I told my paw friends in the park- all is forgiven on the night before Christmas! Just don't push your luck eating Santa's cookies!
Love

Tonka

 
 
Friday December 9/11
 
Try to Have a Face The Music Weekend!

I heard my owner mom say this last night to the TV- boy was she angry at this judge for making a certain decision my owner mom felt was really really bad! Something about a young singer being voted off ( whatever that means) because this judge did not have the courage to vote her conscience ( (whatever that means)

But I did understand when my Owner Mom said this judge was a terrible role model for young people- especially performers. She always says that we paws make wonderful role models even when we are wild and silly! She kept saying how could this judge expect young people to rise to the occasion ( I learned this phrase early when I thought it meant jumping for treats!) when she could not do it herself!

Anyway, I thought I better look up this phrase--face the music-and then realized why humans have a much harder time doing that- it's simple! They can get away with so much more than we can! We get caught right away! It is no wonder humans can run and hide, not rise to an occasion or face any music.  Now I understand another expression- keeping someone on a tight leash! Humans need to be kept on a  tighter leash.

Facing the music is really not a paw problem. It is a human one. So, I hope humans can have a face the music weekend.  And don't worry. We paws will walk you through it. We have lots and lots of experience being kept on a tight leash!

Love,

Tonka

Friday December 1/11
Feng Shui? Do NOT Rearrange My Stuff!
I am sitting outside with my Owner Mom. A friend of hers comes by. My Owner Mom invites her to sit down.
‘I can’t. I'm in sort of a rush.’
‘Where are you going?’ Asks my Owner Mom.
‘To a Feng Shui Consultation!’
‘Really?’ Asks my Owner Mom.
‘I’m renovating, and this woman is going to tell me where I should put my bed and my desk so I get the most positive energy. Anything that will help me get up in the morning and is a good thing!’

I see my Owner Mom get that smile-the one that tells me she is not totally sure how she feels about what she just heard.
‘I hope you do not have to put in new windows!’
‘Oh, I hope not too! That would be way too expensive!’ She replies.

The woman goes off and my Owner Mom looks at me.
‘Well, Tonka there is no way my bed could face in any other direction so I will have to live with whatever energy we already have. I have you to wake me up in the morning and get me going!’

I put my head back down. So this Feng Shui thing means there are directions to place your stuff so there will be more positive energy? I think about my doghouse- what if I had to turn it in another direction? That would totally not work! I think about where I have buried my bones? What if I had to bury them somewhere else further away from my doghouse? Never!

Can you imagine us paws practicing Feng Shui? What if that meant for more ‘positive energy’ we ended up sleeping in the same direction as our Owner's bed—or better still, on top of our owner moms or dads or boys or girls for even more positive energy.  Even worse, what if that meant we slept in the crib??!! What if our food bowls had to face south even if that meant that South was in the same direction as the dinner table? And if fact, if our bowls were exactly on the same level as the dinning room table, wow! even more positive energy??!!

Feng Shui my petunias!!!!!!!! Humans just need us facing in any direction! I think we are the positive energy and wherever we are, our humans are much better off.

Have a pawfully Feng Shui Weekend, and unless it means you are closer to the food, or your Owner Families, do NOT let them rearrange anything!
Love,
Tonka
(See View From the Paw Archive )

October 21/11

Trick O' Treat (Do I Hear The Word 'Treat'?)

My Owner Mom is beginning to put things up in my yard. This is that time of year when my yard becomes public property. Big sticks in the ground, and some sort of long paper thing called a banner go up. Neighbors come and look and say they can’t wait until Halloween. All I know about Halloween is that I go away and when I come back my yard is mine again. 

My Owner Mom doesn’t know but my paw friends who do not go away, and who come with their Owner families to my yard on Halloween have told me all about what happens. Lots and lots of kids come.  My Owner Mom has some sort of skeleton display outside, and my paw friends say their families like it a lot! My paw friends ask me why I am not there.  I tell them I do not know. But I think my Owner Mom knows I would not be happy about lots of strange paws coming into my yard.  I might feel a little protective and scare the little feet. She would not want me to feel badly, or have to put me inside where I would be very unhappy.

So, I go to my favorite sleep away camp where we all sit around and talk about this day called Halloween and all about the candy all the little feet that get what we are not supposed to eat,  We then decide there ought to be a Paw Holiday when our girl and boy owners take us around to all our neighbors and we get to, what humans call Trick o’ treat and the treats are just for  us!!!! Wouldn’t that be fun? I mean that phrase trick o’ treat has the word ‘treat’ in it!  Do  humans ask their children if they want a treat? No. They ask them if they want a snack not a treat! Do Owner Families ask us if we want a snack? Never! They ask us if we want a treat!

The word ‘treat” really belongs to us! And we deserve our own Trick o’ Treat Day! 
Have a treat-filled weekend all you paws and feet!
Love,
Tonka


 October 15/11

Storage is NOT burying!

A really short Note this week- I am going with my Owner Mom to this place called Storage- where there are a lot of boxes. Honestly! How complicated is that. Humans have to bury things in a box and then put the box somewhere! Then, they have to remember what box they buried it in, open the box, and pull out all sorts of stuff in order to find it. I watch my Owner Mom do this and I think how lucky we paws are that all we have to do is find a nice piece of dirt, and dig a hole to bury our treasures. Boxes!!?? Storage??!! On top of which, it costs money??!! Poor humans! Maybe I can talk my Owner Mom into a Dirt Share! Have a Sharing Weekend!
Love, Tonka

October 1/11

What Are Happy Tears?

Oh boy, I know I’m really late with my ‘note’ and I’m sorry-but my Owner Mom said she had s-o-o-o many emails to return before she gave me the computer to use. So, while I waited I also heard my Owner Mom talking on the phone and saying how wonderful it was to go down ‘memory lane’ I wondered what memory lane meant. Then she talked about her grandmother living on the same block as the people whose house she and my Owner Dad went to for holiday lunch. She talked about the apartment building where she lived before she met my Owner Dad-also on the same block. The same block. She looked really happy when she got back. I heard her say it was a ‘sign.’  A sign of what, I thought?  Then I saw her eyes get all wet and she was smiling.  I knew that the wet eyes meant she was crying. That’s how humans get sad. And then I thought-humans can cry and smile at the same time? At the same time?  She wasn’t sad, she was happy, and she was crying happy tears! Wow!

I looked at her and cocked my head. We canines do not cry like that.  We make noise when we cry. But our eyes do not get all wet.  How confusing humans can be.  The tears for sadness are the same for happiness.  It is a very good thing we are so smart and can tell the difference.  I always know when my Owner Mom is sad. I always know when she is happy. Even if there are tears.
When our Owner Families are happy, we are happy, so, have a ‘happy tears’ weekend, if you are humans, and a barky happy weekend if you are four paws!
Love,
Tonka

October 21/11

Trick O' Treat (Do I Hear The Word 'Treat'?)

My Owner Mom is beginning to put things up in my yard. This is that time of year when my yard becomes public property. Big sticks in the ground, and some sort of long paper thing called a banner go up. Neighbors come and look and say they can’t wait until Halloween. All I know about Halloween is that I go away and when I come back my yard is mine again. 

My Owner Mom doesn’t know but my paw friends who do not go away, and who come with their Owner families to my yard on Halloween have told me all about what happens. Lots and lots of kids come.  My Owner Mom has some sort of skeleton display outside, and my paw friends say their families like it a lot! My paw friends ask me why I am not there.  I tell them I do not know. But I think my Owner Mom knows I would not be happy about lots of strange paws coming into my yard.  I might feel a little protective and scare the little feet. She would not want me to feel badly, or have to put me inside where I would be very unhappy.

So, I go to my favorite sleep away camp where we all sit around and talk about this day called Halloween and all about the candy all the little feet that get what we are not supposed to eat,  We then decide there ought to be a Paw Holiday when our girl and boy owners take us around to all our neighbors and we get to, what humans call Trick o’ treat and the treats are just for  us!!!! Wouldn’t that be fun? I mean that phrase trick o’ treat has the word ‘treat’ in it!  Do  humans ask their children if they want a treat? No. They ask them if they want a snack not a treat! Do Owner Families ask us if we want a snack? Never! They ask us if we want a treat!

The word ‘treat” really belongs to us! And we deserve our own Trick o’ Treat Day! 
Have a treat-filled weekend all you paws and feet!
Love,
Tonka

October 15/11

A really short Note this week- I am going with my Owner Mom to this place called Storage- where there are a lot of boxes. Honestly! How complicated is that. Humans have to bury things in a box and then put the box somewhere! Then, they have to remember what box they buried it in, open the box, and pull out all sorts of stuff in order to find it. I watch my Owner Mom do this and I think how lucky we paws are that all we have to do is find a nice piece of dirt, and dig a hole to bury our treasures. Boxes!!?? Storage??!! On top of which, it costs money??!! Poor humans! Maybe I can talk my Owner Mom into a Dirt Share! Have a Sharing Weekend!
Love, Tonka

 

October 1/11

Oh boy, I know I’m really late with my ‘note’ and I’m sorry-but my Owner Mom said she had s-o-o-o many emails to return before she gave me the computer to use. So, while I waited I also heard my Owner Mom talking on the phone and saying how wonderful it was to go down ‘memory lane’ I wondered what memory lane meant. Then she talked about her grandmother living on the same block as the people whose house she and my Owner Dad went to for holiday lunch. She talked about the apartment building where she lived before she met my Owner Dad-also on the same block. The same block. She looked really happy when she got back. I heard her say it was a ‘sign.’  A sign of what, I thought?  Then I saw her eyes get all wet and she was smiling.  I knew that the wet eyes meant she was crying. That’s how humans get sad. And then I thought-humans can cry and smile at the same time? At the same time?  She wasn’t sad, she was happy, and she was crying happy tears! Wow!

I looked at her and cocked my head. We canines do not cry like that.  We make noise when we cry. But our eyes do not get all wet.  How confusing humans can be.  The tears for sadness are the same for happiness.  It is a very good thing we are so smart and can tell the difference.  I always know when my Owner Mom is sad. I always know when she is happy. Even if there are tears.
When our Owner Families are happy, we are happy, so, have a ‘happy tears’ weekend, if you are humans, and a barky happy weekend if you are four paws!
Love,
Tonka



 
Friday July 29/11
It's A Dog Eat Dog World! Really??!!
Lot’s of young people walk by my Owner Mom’s fence. And my Owner Mom always asks them how things are going. Yesterday one says he is still looking for a summer job. My Owner Mom smiles (she always smiles at young people) and she’s sure he will find one.(My Owner Mom is always optimistic) But then he says those words that always make my ears pick up, my head cock and my fur stand on end:
It’s a Dog Eat Dog World Out There!
Really??!! You don’t see me smiling!
 
How can humans use this phrase? These same humans who are so concerned with being—how they call it—politically correct--end up using a phrase that is so—I am trying to improve my vocabulary, so I found this in my Owner Mom’s Thesaurus—derogatory!
 
Let’s be real. It is NOT a dog eat dog world out there. If it were, we wouldn’t be man’s best friend! Even those of us who live wild DO NOT EAT EACH OTHER. We ignore, we lick or we attack. And about those of us who live at a rescue pound or adoption center? Do you see us scheming (new word!) and plotting against each other for future owners?
 
And talk about expressions--have you ever heard a canine say—A human in the hand is worth two in the bush? Would we do that to birds or say that about humans? (Well maybe but only because the thought of two humans in the bush is downright scary!) And why couldn’t it be—It’s a cat eat cat world??!! My fellow felines stalk and they scratch! Why do they get a pass?
 
This phrase--It’s a dog eat dog world--makes us sound so mean. And I think that humans with all their vocabulary (which I am trying to learn) can come up with a better saying to describe how they behave without using us. If they want to be so PC about what they call each other, then they should be just as PC about how they refer to us!
 
So, fellow paws I am starting a pawdown to do away with this expression. Tell your owner families not to use this expression anymore. My Owner Mom promised me. Also, let me know if you or your owner families have a better saying and I will print it!
(No nasty words or thoughts or my Owner Mom will get very mad and take my computer away!)
Have a-Dog meet Dog (If you're anging out with friends) or Dog eat treat (if you want to 'pig out'-poor pigs! There is another not PC expression!) or Dog pee in the street (If you want to do what you want no matter what!)-weekend!
Tonka

 
Friday Juy 22/11
We Are Protective, but You Humans are Over-Protective!
Okay. I like to think of myself as protective. If I’m sitting next to my Owner Mom or Dad or Boy and a strange dog walks close by, yes, I will get up, yes, I will bark, and yes, I will send a message that I do not know you and no, you cannot get near my territory. I never do this to humans, to children, or to puppies.  Only with other grown dogs.

Yes, I am also protective of my food bowl, and my bones. Do not touch my stuff! Again, I am not at all that way with any human, child or really young puppies--just other grown dogs who should know better than to invade my space without asking me first! So protective? You bet! I admit it. But can we talk about humans??!!

Humans are not protective, they are over-protective.  I remember all those gatherings of Owner Moms when my Owner boy was younger-I’d sit under a table and listen to Owner Moms talk about all the things they were afraid of letting their little boys or girls do. What if their children broke a leg climbing, what if they fell down running.  What if they forgot their homework sheets, or didn’t make a sports team? (I always thought sports teams were silly. My Owner Boy played baseball. What, hit a ball and run around something called bases? Why wouldn’t he just catch the ball and run with it!  That is what I would do! They never let me play!) 

I never understood humans’ ‘protective-ness’? If anyone came up to the table to wag a finger at the babies, these Owner Moms would smile and not be the least concerned! I never saw one Owner Mom move closer to their strollers or to their salads!  (Although, why would anyone, human or canine would want to guard salad?) . 


Anyway, when a human is over-protective it is when they won’t allow their children to do something or go somewhere because humans are afraid of what might happen to their children. Or, they want to protect them from failing at something.  When we canines are protective, we are guarding our immediate space , our belongings and/or our pack. If we are walking along side our Owner Boy or girl’s stroller, we might not be as friendly to other pooches as we would if we were at the dog park. and yes, we will bark or growl. But what happens? We get called aggressive, then scolded and sometimes given a time out. 

Humans who are over-protective are never called aggressive!  They just worry about everything-a lot. Meanwhile, they will let all sorts of strangers pass close to their strollers and smile at their babies. They will let friends share their food!  I have seen Owner Moms eating out each other’s plates! Unbelievable! And they get a total pass for this! 

I wonder what would happen if Mama Paws were over-protective with their puppies, and humans were just protective of their space and food?
Oh, terrible thought! I’d never get treats from the table! Better to keep the differences the way they are:
Your treats are my treats.
Your table is-how do you humans put it-neutral territory?
But my bowl is private
and my casa is NOT your casa!
Have a territorial, but NOT over-protective weekend!
Tonka
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Friday July 15/11
When One of Us Is ‘Gone’
I was curled up under a bush. My Owner Mom was watering plants. I saw a friend of my Owner Mom come down the block. She came every morning with her two dogs. One I had known for a long time. His name was Doug. We were puppies together. The other was much younger. I could never remember his name. He always wanted to come inside the fence and play but I had no intention of letting him in my territory. I moved closer to my food.  The other Owner Mom came up to the fence. Doug was not there.

The other Owner Mom said something to my Owner Mom. Then I heard my Owner Mom say, oh no and give her a big hug. Then this other Owner Mom started to cry. My owner Mom said-I am so sorry. And the other Owner Mom replied- I am going to miss him so much.  Miss him?  What happened to Doug?  

Was this was one of those times that canines always whisper about with each other--when one of our friends or brothers or sisters is suddenly ‘gone’ and we are very confused and sad, and humans cry a lot?  That ‘gone’ is very different from when one of us ‘goes missing’ and humans put up a lot of paper on trees. They go around in cars and on foot calling our names.

I remember when I jumped our older fence and ran away. I got so scared by those very loud cracking noises you humans call –firecrackers-and hid in an alley all night. I heard that a lot of people went looking for me.  In the morning, I walked onto the front lawn of a woman’s house. I might have found my way home but some nice humans came in a truck and took me away to a very nice place where I felt safe. There were a lot of other dogs there. I was not really scared. I knew my Owner Mom would find me. She and my Owner Boy came and got me. My Owner Mom cried and my Owner Boy hugged me a lot.

I know when neighborhood canines ‘go missing’ they usually end up in our yard. I am never too happy about that, but my Owner Mom always makes me be polite. I try. But we canines dread the ‘gone’ times. It’s when we don’t see lots of humans coming and going and calling out names.  It is when one of us just disappears and never comes back.  We know it happens sometimes when we get very sick. So, we always worry when one of us goes to the dog doctor.

I did not hear my Owner Mom say she’d help look for Doug. That was a clue. I did not hear my neighbor say she was still looking for him.  That was an even bigger clue. He was the other kind of ‘gone’ and I knew it when I saw my Owner Mom and the other Owner Mom cry.

No more Doug? I did not know what to do.  The other Owner Mom started to walk away with her younger dog.  I looked at my Owner Mom. She looked so sad. She gave me a big hug.  I wondered if I would be ‘gone’ one day.  I wondered where I would go? What would I do without my Owner family?  Was Doug lonely?  Was he some place with other dogs?

My Owner Mom must have known what I was thinking because she held my face and said- Listen, Tonka. Doug is gone but, she said looking to the sky, he is in heaven with lots and lots of other dogs, and all his friends and relatives, where the weather is perfect, and they can play all day and they get lots of angel love and treats.  She said this with such a big smile that even though I did not understand all of it, I knew it was good, and I felt better.  I believed my Owner Mom that Doug was fine. That meant that if I were ever 'gone' I would be fine too.

My Owner Mom picked up my Kong and said come on-let’s play! And while I tugged, I thought of everything I’d share with my canine friends next time I went to camp. I’d tell them what my Owner Mom said about Heaven and Angels and perfect weather (I’ll be in snow!!!) and love and treats, and that they should not to be afraid of being ‘gone’.

So, have a-not afraid to be ‘gone’ -think Heaven and Angels-and all the friends and family you will see again- weekend. I have already made a list of who I want to see.
And at the top? Doug.
Tonka
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Friday July 8/11
When A Human Gets Sick...
I was going to write about something totally different, but my Owner Mom got really sick which is why I am a little late in posting.  I needed to stay close to her.  She said she was feeling cold and got into bed and pulled all the covers up over her. I knew she was not feeling well when she did this in the middle of the day.  I take a nap in the daytime but my Owner Mom never goes to bed in the middle of the day.

She put this funny white stick in her mouth. It was not a bone or a treat, and it made a funny beeping sound. When she took it out, she looked at it and said uh oh. I have no idea what that meant. Then she looked at me and her eyes and words told me that she could not play with me. She had to stay in bed.  That was okay with me.  She was home. We were together. It was okay if she couldn’t throw a Kong.

She also went into the bathroom, sat down on the floor in front of the bowl with all the water in it—the one that makes a noise when she presses down on something. I have seen her sit on it, but I never saw her put her head in it!  Was she going to drink the water? I thought humans did not do that. I know some paws do it, and my friends at camp tell me they get into trouble with their owners when they do.  So anyway, she puts her head in it, and then makes these weird sounds.  I was a little worried.  I just sat outside the door and waited.  I felt a lot better when I saw her get up.

We stayed together, all day.  It was very cozy.  Every time she got up she would bend down and give me a hug, and tell me how much she loved me.  Today she is much better. I think I had a lot to do with her getting better.  She is still putting this white stick in her mouth, but now she smiles when she looks at it. I guess that is a good thing.

I have not gotten sick, but if I did I know my Owner Mom would take just as good care of me as I did of her. Paw-love back and forth-the best.
Have a love back and forth weekend!
Tonka
 
Friday June 31/11
Roots? Sometimes Humans make No Sense!
My owner Mom had one of her ‘friend lunches’. She took me with her. I love sitting outside at lunchtime. I am near my Owner Mom. I am near food. And I am near other people and children who always come up and pet me.  In fact, I could sit at an outdoor café all day.  A poodle once told me I am very French and should live in Paris! I do not know where Paris is, but I told this poodle that I love croissants, so maybe I am part French. I know I am half Golden Retriever and Bernese mountain dog. Could there have been a French relative way back?  And even more way back to my roots- a French wolf?

So, I am curled up next to the table thinking about all of this when I hear my Owner Mom’s friend say she hates her roots!
My ears pick up.  I do not hate my roots. I think wolves are cool!
They’re not that bad.  Replies my owner Mom.
Maybe not, but I am tired of having to hide them all the time! Says my Owner Mom’s friend.
(Whoa! Hide them? Who is she hiding? I know humans come from Apes. My Owner Boy told me. Is she hiding Apes?)
And she adds-it’s expensive and time consuming.
(I’ll bet! It must cost a lot to hide an Ape. They are big!)
And then the friend says- Well, they show too much, so I need to go this week.
(Uh oh! What does that mean? Where is she going? Do the Apes want to come out of some cave somewhere?)
I don’t think they look that bad, said my Owner Mom
(Has my Owner Mom seen these Apes?)
Well, I don’t like seeing the gray? My Owner Mom’s friend answers, pointing to her hair. Then she laughs and says,
Maybe I’ll just give up, and let it go all gray, or become a blond!
Wait a minute, I say to myself. This human is talking about her roots-she hates-and wants to hide—by changing the color of her hair?
This is not about Apes? This is about hair? AAGGGHHHH! Humans make no sense!
 
Why would humans want to change the color of their hair? Imagine canines wanting to change the color of their fur? Imagine owners deciding they wanted a different color dog?  What a horrible thought! Phew I so glad I am not a human! I have thick black fur, so I’m told.  But I would not care if it turned gray. My fur has nothing to do with how much I am loved, where I go, how I play or who I meet.

Then I realized why we canines are luckier. We do not get up and stretch and shake in front of a mirror. We are not aware of how we look or the color of our coat or fur. We only care about how others treat us. Other paws could care less how we look. They care about how we smell.  And if humans love us, they don’t care how we look either.

And, we love our owner Moms and Dads and Girls and Boys just the way they are. I am sorry that owner Moms feel they have to hide their ‘roots’ and change the color of their hair. They do not need to do for us. They do not need to for their children, either.  Children and canines are the same. It is all about love and hugs and pets.

So, have a no mirror-no hiding-no changing-hugs and pets-weekend with friends and loved ones who do not care what you look like--and Owner Moms, do not worry about your roots! And I thought we were talking Apes! So silly!
Have a great July 4th weekend! Tonka

 
 
 
 
Friday June 24/11
Grown-Up Humans Need To Play!

There is one HUGE difference that makes being a canine so much better than being Human! I realized what it was when my Owner Mom took me to Clever Dogs Daycare. In my last blog, I said that maybe humans were cranky because they had no time to play and nap.  Well, I was wrong!  It is not that humans have no time to play.  It is that grown-up humans do not play at all!

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Friday June 17/11
If We Had To Do all The Things Humans Have To Do In the Morning and At Night...
I wake up before my Owner Mom. Then I wake her up. Then she lets me out to go pee. Then I come back in and sit…and sit…and sit…this part of the morning is not my favorite.  I do not know why it takes my owner Mom so long to ‘get dressed’ which I understand as-I am going to have to wait…and wait…and wait until she has done a lot more than put clothes on!
 
Humans do daily morning and night things that us canines do not except for brushing teeth. My Owner Mom and Dad take turns going into this little place, where they close the door and let water run on top of them. Then they put all this stuff on their faces, (I have over heard my Owner Mom tell a friend-that it helps with wrinkles) She lets more water splash all over her face. Then she puts more stuff on her face again!  (I think it is called make Up-funny word) My Owner Dad puts on this white stuff that looks like ice cream (I love ice cream!) and then scrapes it all off!  Does that make any sense?  My Owner Mom finally gets dressed. Is it now time to go out? No. There is even more stuff near the front door--that she also offers my Owner Dad and that he always says no to—she says it is to protect her from the sun and sometimes from bugs!
 
And not only do all these human activities go on in the morning, but at night too! I settle down and watch my owner Mom go back into the bathroom to brush her teeth AGAIN! What canine gets his teeth brushed TWICE a day! She then takes something from a bottle and puts it in her mouth and spits it out! For the second time! Who puts liquid in their mouth and then spits it out two times a day!  And my Owner Dad not only puts it in his mouth, but then makes really strange noises before he spits it out! Then my Owner Mom puts other stuff on her face, and splashes it all off with water again!  All this happens before the lights finally get turned off and we all go to sleep.
 
I just came back from Doggie Camp. We compared notes. It turned out that all owner families do the same things!  We realized that all we have to do in the morning is get up, pee, eat, and poop. And at night-pee, and/or poop and curl up. We decided that we are incredibly lucky to be dogs and not humans!  If we had to do all the things that humans need to do before they get out the door or into bed, we would have no time to play and nap--two of the most important things in any dog’s life!
 
Then we all understood why some of our owner Moms and Das get so cranky. They have no time to play and nap! They just have too much to do in the morning and at night.
 
We all went to bed feeling very sorry for our owner families. So we decided we had to help them have more play and nap time. The only way to do that is to get them up even earlier so they can do all these things they need to do, even earlier!  
 
We all agreed on a Wake Up Bark just before the sky gets light. That should give our Owner Moms time to do the things that make no sense to us, and then give them time to play and nap! And we also thought that would be a great Father’s Day gift to our Owner Dads!
 
So, have a wonderful early wake-up-bark-play and nap-Father’s Day Weekend! I love my Owner dad!
Tonka
 
Friday June 10/11
Can We Talk?  Or Not!
Humans Do Something That No Self-Respecting Canine Would Ever Do!
I went outside early this morning. I sat down in my favorite shady spot. I watched my Owner Mom water the plants. And then I heard her start to talk—and who was she talking to? It wasn’t a who, it was a what! It was a plant!  To a plant??!!! As if that wasn’t bad enough, this plant was the one I got into so much trouble for pulling out of the ground last winter when I thought it was a very tall stick! It looked exactly like a stick!  How was I supposed to know it was actually a plant!
 
Well, this plant that looked exactly like a stick has grown back from a hole in the ground where I pulled it out.  It is now very tall and very green, and it has leaves.  My Owner Mom comes out every morning, waters the ground around it, pets its leaves, tells it how pretty it is and how much it has grown!  A plant!!!!! She is doing all of this to a plant!!!!!!  If I weren’t so emotionally secure I might be jealous.

 Who talks to plants??!!! We canines do not talk to plants. We will bark at birds, squirrels, and other four or two legged creatures—like the mail or delivery person. We talk out our fears and happiness with howls and yelps but we would never hold a canine conversation with a plant!  We either eat them or lift our legs at them!

My owner Mom has put up a barricade so I cannot pee or dig a hole near this former stick turned green.  I might pee but I will not dig a hole near it.  It no longer looks like a stick, so I am no longer interested.  I guess my Owner Mm does not trust me.

But when I see her talking to it, I begin to worry. Am I going to walk out into my front yard and find my owner Mom talking to everything—like the stone pig that, come to think of it, she also pats every morning! Should I get my Owner Dad involved?

All I can say is that if humans think it is okay to talk to and pet a plant, then they need us even more than I thought!  I am going to stay extra close to my Owner Mom.

Meanwhile, have a talkie weekend, no matter what!
(But a plant??!! I still can’t-how do you humans say-wrap my mind around that! A Leg, yes!)
Tonka
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Friday June 3/11
If Humans Had Brains the Size of Ours!
 I read my Owner Mom’s blog on Wednesday. She wondered why a human’s brain had to be so big. Why couldn’t it be smaller and smarter like this machine called a Nano? Well, my Owner Mom could have said-why couldn’t she have a brain the size of mine?

Look at us pooches.  I do not care how big some of us are. We adult dogs have smaller brains than adult humans. And, I am sorry to say, we are so much more intelligent. Think about all we communicate without words. Think of all we understand by just listening. Think of all the vocabulary we learn without flashcards or books.

I mean, if humans took a very close look at pooches, they would see we are the perfect example of higher intelligence. Now I know there are some humans who refer to some of us as ‘stupid but loveable’.  I cannot think of one stupid canine who would not look brilliant next to a “stupid but loveable human! Besides, what is a ‘stupid but loveable’ human? We only think of humans as loveable or mean. We do not think if them as stupid or smart.

Maybe my Owner Mom and Dad and Boy are bright.  I do not know. All I know is that my Owner Mom loves me a lot. I agree that she could do all she does with a smaller brain and a smaller body.  But, it’s like sometimes I think I could do just as much if I stood up straight like a human and only walked on two legs.  Then I come to my senses and say –no! That would be terrible. I would be too far from the ground, and it would be so much harder to sniff and smell.

I am sure there is a good reason why humans are big, why they have only two legs, and why their brains are bigger than ours. And I want to tell my Owner Mom that maybe humans are not meant to be like machines, anymore than dogs are meant to be like humans.

I like my Owner Mom just the way she is. I like her hugs, I like the way she talks to me. And I like that she always knows how I am feeling and what I want. If she needs a big brain in order to be like that, then it’s just fine with me. And if I can be thought of as very intelligent with my smaller brain, that is just fine with me too!
So whatever the size of your brain, have a very brainy but loveable weekend!
Tonka
 
Friday May 27/11
Rolling In Paw Deep Tradition!
My owner Mom took me to the park this morning. She and all the other owner Moms watched as each of us sniffed a particular piece of ground and then proceeded to roll our whole bodies in it.

I know we gross out humans when we do this.! We overhear them sharing tales of when we come home stinking from some dead carcass or feces.

Well, my owner Mom always used to tell my owner Boy to defend a point of view or an action with Facts, not Opinions. I learned a lot from listening to my Owner Mom talk to my owner Boy. So, I decided to find out the Facts behind what is one of my favorite things to do!
And guess what I found?
Quoted from Wikipedia:
Why Dogs Roll in Dead Animals
The current theory about why dogs will roll in smelly material comes from on their relationship to wolves and observation of wolf behavior.
Wolves will often roll in decomposing carcasses or the feces of plant eating animals or herbivores. It is assumed that this masks their own scent and enables them to sneak up on their prey without detection. It may even fool members of the other species into accepting a wolf as one of their own. It is assumed that this instinct is what we are seeing in the behavior of domesticated dogs as well. Working and hunting dogs tend to roll in smelly stuff more often than other breeds and this is perhaps because they are more closely related to wolves.

Read more:
More Information
 
Ah hah! I love this! Anything that connects me with a wolf is good! I think my ancestors are awesome! I feel about them the way my Owner Boy used to feel about Knights! And, I am a work dog, so of course I will sniff more!  But more importantly is the fact that we can fool members of other species into accepting us as one of their own! Now if that doesn’t cancel out my advancing age, and help my application to join special ops and sniff out bad guys, I don’t know what does! !! (see my May 13th Blog)

So humans, next time you see us rolling around in some smelly spot, please do not think it is gross!  We are honoring our proud wolf heritage, and we are keeping up our skills at deception.  The fact that we would never roll in a dirty diaper in order to sneak up on a human toddler should be all that owner Moms care about!

Remember. We live by our nose. It has fed us, and protected us, not to mention all the humans it has saved. Never--how do you humans say--second-guess what we canines do related to our noses. There is usually a very good reason, and the reason is paw deep in canine history and tradition!

So, do all our ancestors and our history proud, and have a sniff and roll in it Memorial weekend!

Tonka
 
Friday May 2O/11
Real He-Dog Food-Coming Soon!
I think I know what is going on and I am excited. I saw my Owner Mom go up to my Owner Boy’s room. She carried a whole bunch of stuff back downstairs to the garbage, and then a whole bunch of other stuff to the basement. I know the word laundry. That was what she was doing with the other stuff-laundry.

That can only mean one thing.  My Owner Boy is coming home! I do not know when. My Owner Mom does not tell me until right before, so I can sit outside and wait.

Also, my Owner Mom puts a lot more food in the big cold thing in the kitchen. That means much better scraps from the table. My Owner Mom eats salads and vegetables and fruit—what kind of food is that for a dog! My owner Dad eats bread and goat cheese and apple. I sit closer to him. But, my owner Boy eats what you humans call real GUY food!
And I practically sit on top of his lap!  We are talking about steak and hamburgers, and chicken! Music to a HE dog’s ears!!!

When my Owner Boy is home, his food is like desert! I know I have to eat my kibbles first. And I do but then I sit with my paw right on my owner Boy’s knee, and it stays there until I get those yummy little treats!

Of course that is not the only reason I am excited. I love my Owner Boy a lot.
And it is fun to fall asleep on the couch together. But it doesn’t hurt that my Owner Boy eats real food!

So, I shall wait for word that he is on his way. Until then, along with the idea of having a time out from all those techie things humans are so obsessed with that we canines do not need because we have a nose-there should also be a day out from all that lettuce, and broccoli that humans wouldn’t need if they didn’t over dose on deserts with chocolate which we pooches don’t eat at all!
Honestly, if humans just ate like us--2 times a day--they would be fine!

So have a GUY food weekend! I can already smell the steaks!!
Tonka
 

Friday May 13/11
We Have Our Super Heroes Too!
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/05/04/military-working-dog-used-bin-laden-compound-raid/
The dogs are well-protected in these dangerous situations, armed with ballistic body armor, protective gear to shield against bullets and shrapnel, and infrared night-sight cameras that provide crucial feedback to troops and warn of potential ambushes.

There are currently 600 dogs serving in Iraq and Afghanistan, Ensign Brynn Olsen of U.S. Central Command told the New York Times. In 2008, Gen. David Petraeus, current U.S. commander in charge of Afghanistan and soon to be CIA director, called for an increase in the number of dogs used by the military.
 “The capability they bring to the fight cannot be replicated by man or machine,” Petraeus said. “By all measures of performance, their yield outperforms any asset we have in our industry.”


Now how cool is this!!! I could not let the week go by without giving a very high paw to my fellow canines who have placed themselves in harms way for their owner soldiers-especially the one who was involved in this past week’s raid.

Humans have heroes. We canines have heroes too! These military paws are our super heroes.  I have to say I long to be one of them. I know, I know, it might not sit well with my owner Mom or Dad (although I know my owner Boy would parachute out of a plane with me) but what I wouldn’t give to be part of a covert operation to get a really bad, bad human! I would love that!

And, not to brag or anything, but I think I’d be a great candidate. I have a superior nose for scents, I am extremely trainable, I have no allergies, and I have a sixth sense about my surroundings.

I am sorry that I did not consider this career path when I was younger. Now I am past the age of recruits. They would think I was too old to do the training. But what do they know?  I mean, humans are still working past 65.  My owner Mom has said that 60 is the new 50. Well, 9 is the new 4!  I am healthy. I have no medical problems.  I love to fetch and tug of war. What more could one ask for in a pooch recruit?
 
Maybe I can get my owner Mom to up my game (as humans say) and give me more challenging exercises.  After all, you never know.  The CIA might be interested. All I have to tell them is that I could find chicken and/or steak if it were wrapped in ten layers of foil and put on the top shelf of an attic closet!  And if there wasn’t an opening for that kind of work, I am also a veteran out door café sitter. I could spy on anyone all day long, as long I had shade and food, and water.

There is one thing I hope they don’t ask on the application: Do You Have Any Fears?
Yes. Thunderstorms. What happens if I put that down? Will that disqualify me? Should I lie and say nothing? Then what would happen if I was tailing a human (funny that ‘tailing’ is a human phrase) and I heard a clap of thunder? Would I lose my focus? Would I lose my mark? (another funny human word, we canines know a lot about!)  But Wait!  military dogs have earplugs to protect them from loud explosions! So, phew, not a problem! In fact, how come my owner Mom doesn;t get me a apir of those?  We will have to talk about that!
 
 
Well, I will keep in shape just in case. Meanwhile, I am going to think about my super heroes and hope that I can be like them in some way.
 
And that is the thing about heroes. Canine, or human, we all want to be like them in some way.
So have a hero in some way, weekend.  Being a human's best friend is a start. Body armor, cameras, and Navy Seal training to come! Meanwhile, check out these amazing pictures, my ownerBoy just sent me!
 
Tonka
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Friday April 29/11
A Canine Support Group?
All right. There is no way to get around this.  There is one area (there aren’t many) where some grown canines like me have it worse than all grown humans.
Grown humans are not afraid of thunderstorms.
Grown canines can be. I am one.
Grown humans have something called support groups where I hear they can sit and share their fear with other grown humans.  Then, they don’t feel so bad because other grown humans have the same problem they do.

Grown canines do not have this thing called a support group. We do not get to sit and ‘share’ our fears with other grown canines.  (Sharing isn’t necessarily one of our greatest strengths either!)  We have to suffer in private.  We pant and pace and shake and want to run and hide under or behind something.  We have, in short, a canine panic attack! By the way, about a panic attack? I do not get the elevator and closed spaces one, that so many humans have.  I love elevators! I am always curious where the elevator is going to stop and where I'm going to get out!  But since I am so scared of thunder, I am in no pawsition to-what do humans say-pass judgment?
 
My owner Mom is usually around when there is a storm, and she is very patient with me.  Sometimes a storm comes in the middle of the night. When that happens, I wake her up to tell her I cannot deal with this by myself.  I know that she cannot make me feel less scared, but while I pant and shake, she can keep me company and pet me until the storm goes away.

I do not know of any human grown up who needs to do that! And come to think of it, very loud thunder never bothered my owner boy-even when he was very little.  My owner Mom once told him that a storm meant a band was playing in the sky- the drums and cymbals were thunder, and lightening.  My owner boy thought that was very cool.  What’s ‘cool’ about drums and cymbals making noise in the sky in the middle of the night!  And all this oohing, and ahhing over fireworks?  I can’t decide which is worse?  The band or the explosions?  And come to think of it, the vacuum cleaner isn’t going to win any popularity contest with me either.  I am just very sensitive to loud sounds. But when I hear about this terrible thing called a tornado that sends houses, and humans, and cars, and pets, and trees flying all over the place, it makes me a little ashamed that I am so scared of plain old simple thunder.

So, I need to take an action here. The fact is that it is getting warmer and I know that thunderstorms will be happening more often.  So, I have come to a decision. My owner Mom is sending me to my home away from home when she goes away.  I am going to try to organize one of these so-called support groups that humans have.
The idea of getting work dogs, and toy dogs, and hunting dogs to sit together for any length of time might be a real challenge!  But, I am going to try!
If all those poor humans and their pets had to live through  a tornado, I can try to live through a thunderstorm!
Have a big  ‘support group’ weekend!
Especially those humans who lost loved ones, and pets, and homes in the tornados.
Tonka

 
 
Friday 22/11
I was away this week while my owner Mom was in New York. I just read her blog. She didn't ask me what I thought about how to solve the Sleeping Controller problem. I would have said--simple!  Forget the baby, just put a dog in that tower.
A dog trained to smell sleep!
A dog that could then bark very loudly in a human's ear.
A dog that could jump on top of a human's lap.
A dog that could pull at at a pair of pants.
And if worse came to worse, a dog that would growl-translation:
I will count to three. If you are not wide awake, I'm going to bite!!!
I have a lot to do before lunch too! Next?

While I was away, my friends and I watched this video and laughed and laughed and laughed!
Two Dogs Out Dining
and I must say it is my absolute favorite so far:
Have a Dining Out weekend!!
Tonka
Find me on Facebook at Tonka's View From the Paw or
email me at email Tonka
I have so many readers, but Facebook won't give me my own user name until I have at least 25 likes!
So...if you do like me, let Facebook know on my new page-Tonka's View From The Paw. Thank you!
 

Friday 22/11

I was away this week while my owner Mom was in New York. I just read her blog. She didn't ask me what I thought about how to solve the Sleeping Controller problem. I would have said--simple!  Forget the baby, just put a dog in that tower.
A dog trained to smell sleep!
A dog that could then bark very loudly in a human's ear.
A dog that could jump on top of a human's lap.
A dog that could pull at at a pair of pants.
And if worse came to worse, a dog that would growl-translation:
I will count to three. If you are not wide awake, I'm going to bite!!!

I have a lot to do before lunch too! Next?

While I was away, my friends and I watched this video and laughed and laughed and laughed!

Two Dogs Out Dining
and I must say it is my absolute favorite so far:
Have a Dining Out weekend!!
Tonka
Find me on Facebook at Tonka's View From the Paw or

email me at email Tonka

I have so many readers, but Facebook won't give me my own user name until I have at least 25 likes!

So...if you do like me, let Facebook know on my new page-Tonka's View From The Paw. Thank you!

 

 

 

Friday April 15/11

We do Not Have a Glass Ceiling, We Have a Glass Fence!!!
Next week is Passover. My owner Mom is going to New York City to spend it with her brother and his wife.  I cannot go because there is no place for me to stay. I used to be able to stay with my owner Mom’s mother or her aunt.  But they are no longer alive and my owner Mom’s brother’s building does not allow dogs. No even just for a day, or for family dinner! 

I have heard lots of reasons that buildings have rules against dogs.  We might be noisy and bark.  We might get aggressive and bite.  We might have an accident and pee in the hallway.  We might just take up too much room in the elevator!  We might scare humans too much.

 

Okay. Just to set the record straight,  when I was in New York City at my owner Mom’s aunt’s apartment-
I heard toddlers screaming at a pitch higher than even the yappiest dog could produce!
I smelled baby diapers stinkier than any poop we canines could manufacture on our worst day of eating too much dirt and grass!
I watched child temper tantrums that puppies would never have because we canines do not have temper tantrums!

 

Some of us get a bad rap because we can’t tell a burglar from Santa Claus!

Some of us get a bad rap because in fact, we think everyone IS Santa Claus!

Some of us get a bad rap because, on the other hand, we think anyone in a uniform IS a burglar!
But we have leashes. We have muzzles. Toddlers do not have any of those! They have mothers and fathers and nannies who scoop them up and apologize for the meltdown in the supermarket.

But this idea of not letting us into apartment buildings makes no sense! 

Is it that we might bite??!!! So what if we had to wear one of those face things while in the halls or elevators or lobbies?  That would be ok with me.
Is it that we are going to pee in the hallway? Oh pl—eee—zzz!!! So our owners would pay for cleaning the little puddle and anyway, only puppies do that! May I also add that our puppyhood is so-o-o-o much shorter in time than human toddlerhood!  Ours only lasts about 11 months. Human toddlerhood lasts for three years!!!!

Is it that we will bark and make too much noise?  That cannot be any worse that the high-pitched screams from those little human lungs! 

(And speaking of canine noise, I know New York is filled with little yappy micro canine brethren. I wonder where THEY live!!?? Do I complain when they come at me on the street and we have this David and Goliath in reverse moment and in my case Goliath is silent and pays absolutely no attention which drives the mini yappy Davids crazy)  Is it that some of us take up too much room? Ever try to get into an elevator with a double stroller, TWO stinky diapers, one screaming toddler who does not want to go to playgroup, and a baby who is hungry? 
Thank you very much, but I will wait for the next empty elevator!

Back to not being allowed in my owner Mom’s brother’s building. I know my owner Mom does not like it. I know she wishes she could change the rules or at least have exceptions for dogs like me. I am a search and rescue kind of dog. That is why I can smell stinky diapers a mile away! I am not interested in biting humans!  I know my owner Mom thinks that most dogs have a very civilizing effect on most humans, and for senior citizens a very special effect. I have done my share of de-scaring kids, and humanizing Grinches.

Anyway, I cannot go. But my owner Mom looks at me and says…one day, Tonka…one day…co-ops in New York City will have a canine on the board (Whatever that means) She says for women it’s the glass ceiling.  For us canines, it’s the glass fence….(whatever that means!)
Have a wonderful Passover with or without the glass fence!

Tonka
 Find me on Facebook at View From the Paw!

Or you can write to me at Email Tonka

 

Friday April 8/11
Dogs do Not lose Stuff, they Bury It!
Living with my owner Mom and Dad is always filled with morning drama. 

My owner Mom cannot find her car keys.

My owner Dad cannot find his glasses.
My owner Mom cannot find her phone.

My owner Dad cannot find his blackberry. 

Sometimes I am surprised they can find each other!!!

Yesterday, they both took me out for an early morning walk and to the little market where I get biscuits and they get this drink-coffee-that all humans seem to need to start their day.  My owner Mom always shares her muffin with me. So, I get the biscuits AND a little muffin. Very nice.

On our way back home, suddenly my owner Dad started putting his hands all over his body, saying –wait-where is my wallet? What is a wallet? I knew it was important because my owner Dad turned around and started running back to the market.
My owner Mom and I followed him. He went inside and came back outside looking all around for this thing called a wallet.  My owner Mom looked too. No wallet.

My Owner Dad said he had paid for the coffees and muffin so what happened to his wallet after that? Did someone take it?   Then my owner Mom got an idea. She said he should look in the garbage bin. Maybe he threw it away with the coffee cup and the bag the muffin came in. (She said she did that once! Really??!!)  My owner Dad opened the bin. He searched the muffin bag, no wallet.

We all stood around some more. My owner Dad was really upset. Then my owner Mom said, are you sure you looked in the bin and not just the bag. My owner Dad said he would look one more time. He did, and guess what??? There was the wallet all the way at the bottom of the bin!

So, can we talk fellow humans?  You do lose your stuff all the time. My owner Boy was always losing things, and my owner Mom and Dad still do!  We canines do not lose stuff. We know exactly where we put everything that is important to us. We do not need safes, we have dirt filled holes.  We do not need an alarm system we have a clear growl that signals –Warning!  Warning! Do not touch my stuff!!  We collect, we gather, we cover, we bury but we do not lose!

I think the one problem is that humans have pockets. Pockets are a real problem.
Things can fall out of them. Other humans can take things out of them.  Humans would be much better without pockets. They would learn how to carry and be much more aware of what they had.  A mouth and paws is all one really needs!

Another problem is that humans do what they call multi-task.  That means they eat, talk on the phone and check their blackberrys, at the same time. But then they can't remember where they just put that piece of paper with an important phone number.  In poochland, I cannot imagine playing ball, while eating, or chasing a cat while digging a hole, let alone not remembering where I put my bone!!!

Dogs are just of a higher authority.  We are much more centered. So, it is really up to us to help humans with their stuff. We need to pay more attention to what they do with their keys, and phones and glasses and wallets. 

Maybe we should just bury their stuff at night with all our stuff and retrieve everything for them in the morning!!!!
Have a great collecting, gathering, covering, burying weekend!
Tonka